|
|
Star Wars Creator Bows to Liberal Pressure and Introduces Gay Androidby Albert BensonSubscribe to my newsletter. |
|
|
Those of us Americans alert to the sinister liberal propaganda are rarely
surprised by how low the Marxists will go to achieve their aim, which
is to undermine our family values. But every now and then a
forehead-slapping story comes along to remind us just how tight we have
to gird ourselves against the sodomite agenda. And this is just such
a story, my brothers. George Lucas, who since the late 70s has provided
wholesome family entertainment encouraging the unique
American values of heroism and self-sacrifice in the context of an engrossing
conflict between good and evil, will introduce in the next installment of
the Star Wars saga a homosexual component. Bowing down to leftist
pressure, Lucas will take one of the most beloved characters of this galaxy-spanning
adventure, C-3PO, and transmogrify him into what is referred to in politically
correct terms as a "transsexual"; that would be a "fag" or "queer" to us who still
have enough pride in our heritage to listen to The John Boy and Billy Big Show
on the radio every day. C-3PO will
undergo a retooling to transform him into a female android. An andrette, if you will. Not that the gender change would be that noticeable in C-3PO's behavior; he was already a little light in the lutetium, in  case you hadn't noticed.
With his effete gabbling and his anal-retentive quibbling, C-3PO, portrayed
by English actor Anthony Daniels, always reminded me of the child Roddy McDowall
and Tony Randall would have had if they had lived in Vermont. But Lucas
is moving from the subtle prissiness of Daniels to an anvil-on-the-head, overt
homosexuality. The android's hips will be widened, his shoulders narrowed,
the waist streamlined, and a pair of metallic, C-sized breasts added to
complete the look. The mimesis would not be complete without the cutesy
transgender name change: the unit coldly identified as C-3PO will become
the euphonious 3-SSE, and affectionately nicknamed "Sissy." Continuity issues arise. The more recent chapters of the space saga are prequels. How will the transgendered character be reconciled with the C-3PO in chapters 4, 5, and 6? "No problem," says Lucas. "When the films are transferred to the newer digital formats for the complete DVD boxsets, we'll digitize the transsexual 3-SSE over the the original image. Digital technology now delivers seamless effects. The only way future generations will know the difference is if the original audience tells them." And what is the purpose of this sudden attack of perverse political correctness? Lucas replied, in so many words, that in the future, homosexuals will be everywhere, and he wants to stay ahead of the trend and indoctrinate our children into that fact early. Okay. Maybe that's not exactly what he said, but that's what he meant. He said, "The future is an ideal in which we will face a universe full of creatures like we've never seen before. It's an adventure, and diversity will certainly be a part of it." He added, "And not only that, after the lashing I took for the accidental resemblance of Jar Jar Binks to native islanders, I'm going to be intentionally inclusive, so I can control more directly whatever message is coming across." In other words, Lucas is afraid of what the radical Sodomites might say about him, so our core American values take another hit below the waterline. Our profit-seeking auteurs have sold their souls while behaving as traitors to the Founding Fathers. When the film arrives in theaters, this is one critic who will not attend the premiere. Except as maybe a protester out front. I'm sure you'll read all about this madness in upcoming issues of The Advocate and Men's Fitness, where the leftist columnists will hail this travesty as a masterpiece in social engineering. If it's financially successful — which, no doubt, it will be, thanks to the liberal media that'll hype it to no end — expect other children's favorites to get a makeover. It doesn't take much to imagine Disney, which already allows for a gay day on their premises and provides "partner" benefits to their gay employees, raiding their vaults for films that could use a digital tweaking. I can see them taking Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and changing Snow White into a colored woman, then renaming the film Coal Black and her Mens. They'll get Halle Berry to voice Coal Black, with Snoop Dogg as "Snoopy," Bobby Brown as "Snuffy," and Elton John and R. E. M. will pen new tunes for the revamped soundtrack. You mark my words. My 22-page newsletter, Copperhead Bytes, comes out four times a year. In it, I expose the inaccuracies in Civil War history as taught by the Northern invaders, and the errors in the biblical interpretations that pertain to slavery (The Bible never states that slavery was a sin, for example). The cost is $4 (Confederate) a year. Contact me at copperhead-bytes@aol.com . |